When you enter the Pear Wiggler, you find it surprisingly muddy. Before you can figure out what’s going on, though, the Manager sets upon you. “There you are! All those hotpot fumes made the golems start tracking mud everywhere, so corporate hired an octopus, but this octopus is completely useless! Go teach it, or at least distract it, or we’ll never make it through dinner!”

Something crashes. The Manager swears and rushes off.

You step a bit further in, and see the giant octopus from earlier perched atop the pear juice fountain. It, too, has a giant pear on its head. Professor Fuzang is looking at it with some concern.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. You plonk your coins in front of him. “Professor,” you plead, “in lieu of payment for the coins, would you please help distract the octopus?”

“Oh, of course,” he replies, “and please, just call me Fuzang.”

He stretches out and takes to the air, performing a brilliant dragon dance in the mist of hotpot fumes, completely bewitching the octopus for the moment. You sigh with relief and get started planning other distractions. Maybe you could also teach the octopus something?

Pear Boss 2 progress tracker

Pear Collection | Prompt Collection (AO3) | Prompt Collection (Automagic App)

( Boss 2 Rules )

"You could," a melodious voice agrees. You look up to see a spark-sprite hovering next to you. "True culinary delight comes from creativity, and only sentient beings can be creative. The golems, poor things, have dirt for brains. They can chop vegetables and not much else."

That seems a little insensitive, and you wince, but a passing golem doesn't look bothered at all. It takes your empty bowl and gives you a glass of water, which you gratefully chug. Being a bard is thirsty work.

"But as the golems could not be creative," the sprite continues, "they could not provide entertainment. For that, only you and your fellows would do. And you did it so well!" he adds warmly. Literally warmly — a few sparks fall from his wings for emphasis. "Word spread and I had to come hear you for myself. I was not disappointed, I must say! And as I am a professor of the arcane and mundane arts, I know whereof I speak."

"Thanks," you say, feeling a little better. It's nice to have your art appreciated, even if the professor thinks it's mundane. You made some good tips, too. If only that game currency meant anything in the real world. But who knows when you'll see the real world again...

Your melancholy musings are interrupted by the sprite producing a peculiar mechanical device that's nearly as big as he is. Magical or electrical energy crackles along its wires and prongs. It reminds you of the goblin devices that sent you into the game in the first place. "Hey," you say, sitting up. "Do you know —"

"That the golems are drenched in ancient magic?" the sprite exclaims. "I do! Tell me, do you know anything about the soil they're made of?"

You neither know nor care. You just want to go home. "Uh, not really. Professor —“

“Then further research is needed!" He puts the device away (how? where?) and gestures to you. "Come! You're no longer needed for the lunch rush, so I need you to dig around in the ground the golems came from and see if you find any ancient items of interest. If you can further my research, I shall be most grateful."

You don't want to dig more, but you like the idea of the professor owing you a favor. Maybe then he can help you get home.

There's just one problem: when you go outside, it's foggy and you can't see very well. You cough, waving your hands around to clear the air. It smells like vegetables and dragon spit.

"Sorry!" Stray calls, sticking their head out the back door. "The dragons got a little enthusiastic making steam to sanitize the dishes. Oh, hello, Zzt. Did you enjoy the salad?"

"Terrible," he says briskly. "But the fine entertainment was worth it. Why didn't you tell me your vegetable patch was full of magical residue?"

Stray huffs. "Why should I tell you anything when you're so rude?" They go back into the cafe, slamming the door.

Professor Zzt shrugs and turns back to you. "Nothing to be gotten from them. But I'm sure you'll turn up everything I need."

A new tracking board appears. It seems you have no choice but to accept this quest.

Strawberry Board 2 Grid and List of Goals

Strawberry Collection | Prompt Collection (AO3) | Prompt Collection (Automagic App)

“Hurry up!” a voice calls – the manager, you think. “It’ll be dinner rush soon enough. That dragon-fueled hot pot is not going to fill itself.”

Is that where the mist is coming from?

You’re trying to squint through the fog when the manager comes up to you. Her hands are now carrying large bushels of grapes.

“There’s someone I want you to meet,” the manager says. “A visiting archeologist, very important. The professor. Over there.”

She nods her head in the direction of a man kneeling down in the dirt. If it weren’t for his size and relative lack of dirt, you’d have mistaken him for another of the golems. You go over to him.

“Hello, professor,” you say, and he stands back up, taking you in behind those thick glasses and bushy beard. You like him immediately.

“This is an extremely interesting place,” he says as he squats back down and pokes at the dirt. You follow him, curious, but also afraid of more golems popping up. They’re sweet and friendly, sure, but they also came out of the dirt with no warning and you do not want to be on the receiving end of that. “You know, I think it’s just the place I’ve been looking for. It’s been written about, spoken about, and perhaps I’m the lucky one to find it.”

The professor’s eyes glimmer as he speaks and you can’t help but feel his own excitement filling you.

“Like what?” you say.

“Oh, strange things, interesting things. Artifacts, magical dirt…” He smiles, it lights up his whole face. “You should keep digging and see what you can find.”

Grape Board 2 Grid and List of Goals

Grape Collection | Prompt Collection (AO3) | Prompt Collection (Automagic App)